Raising Teenagers Gifts

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

"If you can hear me, give me a sign."

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"I still remember my first frenzy."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"Too bad teenagers don't have a chrysalis stage."

'Honey, he's a teenager! They dress as a form of self-expression; he'll grow out of it.'

Adolescence: New! Improved!

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

'Beware of the teenager.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'We've created a teenager!'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"You don't look much like a werewolf."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

"Hi - Mom? Going to Kayla's house? Thanks!"

'You've failed to reach your performance targets,we'll have to let you go.'

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'