Raising A Teenager Gifts

'I know it's been hard to be both a father and mother to me, but now that I'm grown, Mom, how about being just a mother again.'

'It's making me happy.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

"Leda, honey, let's not keep your date waiting!"

'Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians.'

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Teenage Angst.

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'We've created a teenager!'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

'Not till you're sixteen.'

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

'Just for the record, the quote is 'go west young man,' not 'go rest young man.''

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

Curious George, Dad

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."