Raising A Teenager Pillows

'I know it's been hard to be both a father and mother to me, but now that I'm grown, Mom, how about being just a mother again.'

'It's making me happy.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

"Leda, honey, let's not keep your date waiting!"

'Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians.'

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Teenage Angst.

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'We've created a teenager!'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'Not till you're sixteen.'

I'd like to request a transfer to a household offering a higher allowance and fewer choices.

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

Curious George, Dad

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"MOM! Connor got all tangled up in his keychain lanyard again!"

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'