Raising Teens Pillows

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

'There's not enough insurance in the world.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'We've created a teenager!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

"Yeah, I've noticed it too: Young Master's smell has changed a lot since he's become a teenager..."

"Baldo, we need to talk."

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

Curious George, Dad

"I'm sorry madam but we don't make them go missing."

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

'You're probably just trying to get our attention, son, and believe me, you've succeeded in a big,big way.'

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

Sugar And Spice And Full On Drama

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

The swamp of adolescence

"So...have you ever kissed a girl before?"

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

"-But APART from 38" 22" 36" what else do you want to be, Cynthia?"