Teenager Gifts

'Damn it, Mom! I've told you a hundred times...There is no way to 'pause' an online game!'

"I'm not coming down for dinner, didn't you read my blog ?!?!"

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

"I've been looking for a job, but I haven't seen any yet."

"I know about the birds and the bees. Can you explain Bitcoin?

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

'First it's surveillance cameras in schools and now my mom wants to be my friend on Facebook, so she can check up on me.''

"When I left for school this morning, were we getting along, or did I promise never to talk to you again?"

"You're not going out dressed like that, are you?"

Dispute over pocket money

'You want me to stop playing video games and go outside to play? In all that air pollution?'

'Everything's fine. Your dad just bought one of these 'How-to-talk-to-teenagers' videos...'

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'There you go...talking that old timey trash again. Got any ideas the work in the real world?'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'And you honey, how was your day at the PlayStation?'

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

"If you want me to look at you when you talk to me, why don't you just FaceTime me?"

'If you have any complaints, can you come to me before posting them on Myspace?'

Pick Your Own Zits.

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."

Slow Texters' Lane

"Really? They can be turned off?"

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

In an instant, Ashley's social life was reduced to the status of pond scum.

"My problem is, I can't tell the rules from the guidelines."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Young Godzilla.

'I hate you Dad! All you've ever done is throw your time and love at me - you've never given me enough money.'

'Talk about punishment. Last night I wasn't allowed to use my laptop and phone while watching TV.'

'Can you do something for my teenage son? He's afraid of hard work.'

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

'I think your parents giving you a pet is a sign of their love - even if it is a drug-sniffing dog.'