Teenager Gifts

'Damn it, Mom! I've told you a hundred times...There is no way to 'pause' an online game!'

"I'm not coming down for dinner, didn't you read my blog ?!?!"

'Soon, you will start to notice changes in your body... massive, horrifying changes.'

"I've been looking for a job, but I haven't seen any yet."

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

"When I left for school this morning, were we getting along, or did I promise never to talk to you again?"

"You're not going out dressed like that, are you?"

'There you go...talking that old timey trash again. Got any ideas the work in the real world?'

'My teacher sends report cards as PDF attachments. Luckily, my parents have no idea how to open computer files.'

'Everything's fine. Your dad just bought one of these 'How-to-talk-to-teenagers' videos...'

Dispute over pocket money

'On the other hand, if I never finish anything I can't be a complete failure...'

'You want me to stop playing video games and go outside to play? In all that air pollution?'

Slow Texters' Lane

"Hey, look - Mom left us an internal memo."

Pick Your Own Zits.

'I thought I'd put in the details later.'

"If you bring joy and enthusiasm to everything you do, people will think you're crazy."

'I think your parents giving you a pet is a sign of their love - even if it is a drug-sniffing dog.'

"Really? They can be turned off?"

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Here's what she was reading - an articl called 'Parents can be fun'.'

Young Godzilla.

"I'm taking a year out to travel round the internet."

'Can you do something for my teenage son? He's afraid of hard work.'

'Talk about punishment. Last night I wasn't allowed to use my laptop and phone while watching TV.'

'I hate you Dad! All you've ever done is throw your time and love at me - you've never given me enough money.'

"My problem is, I can't tell the rules from the guidelines."

Self Indulgent Teenager

'Pick up your feet when you walk.'

'Have a nice date and remember, your mother and I don't want to see any fingerprints on your touch screen.'

"Well, if you've got 'nothing to wear' why am I constantly doing laundry?"

'I don't understand why nobody is coming in...'