Teenage Children Gifts

"Mum, Dad, good news! My IQ test proved negative"

"You've got to realise they are in their forties and know nothin' about the real world."

'No, I haven't told them the telly's gone yet!'

'I've just caught your son looking up prawn on the internet again'

"I made my special lengua casserole! Let me serve you..."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

Modern Kids.

"Allowance?! Yeah, if you take out the trash, I'll allow you to keep living here."

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."