Teenage Gifts

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Wordplay: Hibernation.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"He's gone goth"

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'Isn't it time you started thinking about cars instead of horsie rides?'

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'