Teenage Gifts

"I think I'll be more relaxed once my secondary sex characteristics kick in."

'Teenagers!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

"He's gone goth"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'You can stick your filthy shell. I'm listening to the Arctic Monkeys.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Since we're being so honest, perhaps I should mention that I liked you better as an egg.'

How did you get your parents to send you to Costa Rica this summer, Ingrid? By almost flunking Spanish. That's dire. Hardly! I'll party and practice my accent. Next year�remind me to bring my French grade down. Si!

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'For God's sake give me some angst, how will I ever write a misery memoir?'

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'