Teen Child Gifts

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'Uranus!'

That's when I decided why should I care

"Assuming your parents check your browsing history, let's mess with them a little. . . H-A-R-V-A-R-D T-U-I-T-I-O-N."

"I'm bored. I think I'll post something online that destroys my career prospects."

Spring Break.

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"You'd better put that phone down before you walk into a wall."

Teenage Yoda

"Son, we're concerned about your partying."

'Teenagers!'

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Wordplay: Hibernation.

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

It's a radical new development, a text novel for the text generation

Grand. Baby Grand. Toddler Grand. Teen Grand.

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"He's gone goth"

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

“Dad, I think I’ve finally found Gsus.”

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus