Teen Son Gifts

"How was prom?"

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"

"What? You said you wanted me to get the stain out of Dad's shirt...it's out, isn't it?"

'Can you speak up? I can't hear anything over my music!'

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

Intermediate Slouching.

'I'm living in a soap opera!'

"Did you know the ancient Maya predicted that the world would end in 2012?"

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Young Frankenstein"

Robot Parts $5

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Good game."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Killer Executive Suits.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Skipping Horse

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Remote control pirate bully

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'