Father To Teen Gifts

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"It's called, 'Goth'."

'Mom, Dad just got a nibble.'

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'This program is geared towards the youth market. You give it up to five commands and it closes down in a huff!'

Remote controlled car on a boat.

'This is suppose to be progress.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'More hair than brains.'

"How was prom?"

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

'His dad was!'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

The end of innocence

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"Okay, there's one thing I like about school starting. I have a girlfriend this year."

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

'You dirty rat!'

'At least hanging around street corners reminds us we're at a crossroads in our lives.'

"That was a great kiss, Joey...but can I have my gum back please?"

"Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?"

"If they fit, we can return them."

'Why do I have the felling that your parents don't trust me?'

'By the time I was your age , I'd already run away from home TWICE!'

'Using live bait, I see.'

Biblical Teenager

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

Intermediate Slouching.