Parents Of Teens Gifts

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

"Can I can go to a party?"

"I've hidden all the emergency chocolate in the fruit bowl, it'll be quite safe there."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'We've created a teenager!'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

Curious George, Dad

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

The swamp of adolescence

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

The surrendered mom

'Did you feel that??'

'Honey, before you go out tonight, I would like to have a little chat with the prince of darkness.'

'It's making me happy.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

"Too bad teenagers don't have a chrysalis stage."

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

'Honey, he's a teenager! They dress as a form of self-expression; he'll grow out of it.'