Parent Of Teen Gifts

The surrendered mom

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

'We've created a teenager!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

Curious George, Dad

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

The swamp of adolescence

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

'Did you feel that??'

'Honey, before you go out tonight, I would like to have a little chat with the prince of darkness.'

"The new computer system has arrived, and Benny here is going to help us jump the technical hurdles."

"Megan is at that age where she's embarrassed to be seen shopping with her mother."

Spot Check

"My daughter is really mad at me because I violated her privacy with an ill-considered question and didn't take into account that she's not a little kid any more..."

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

Mom: 'Do I have to repeat myself again, again & again? girl: 'yes, yes, & yes!'

"Dad, let me explain it in a way that you can understand: Followers and Likes on my social media are like stocks on my emotional Wall Street."

"Can I can go to a party?"

"It's about time we had a little talk about your attitude, young man!"

'Are you going to be long in there? ...And have you seen my electric guitar?'

Assisted living on West 84th Street

'In order to cut down disruption in my class I've asked my students not to wear any gang, club, team, or group colours, insignias, patches, etc.'

"I'm running a little late with this one."

"I've hidden all the emergency chocolate in the fruit bowl, it'll be quite safe there."

"For the life of me, I can't get them to do anything else."

"Get off that couch, young man. You're not going to find a job watching TV."