Parent Of Teens Gifts

"Dad, let me explain it in a way that you can understand: Followers and Likes on my social media are like stocks on my emotional Wall Street."

Assisted living on West 84th Street

"For the life of me, I can't get them to do anything else."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"It's about time we had a little talk about your attitude, young man!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'We've created a teenager!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

Curious George, Dad

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

Pop in the 3rd movie. I used to like Kevin Costner. Brew the 5th pot of coffee. Fair trade: sleep for caffeine. Take turns as sentry. Do not ring. Do not ring. Do not ring

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

The swamp of adolescence

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

The surrendered mom

'Did you feel that??'

Sometimes I worry about you, Axel. Teenagers are a big source of anxiety for their guardians. You don

'Honey, before you go out tonight, I would like to have a little chat with the prince of darkness.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."