Parent Of Teens Pillows

"Dad, let me explain it in a way that you can understand: Followers and Likes on my social media are like stocks on my emotional Wall Street."

Assisted living on West 84th Street

"For the life of me, I can't get them to do anything else."

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"It's about time we had a little talk about your attitude, young man!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'We've created a teenager!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

Curious George, Dad

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

The swamp of adolescence

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

The surrendered mom

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

'Did you feel that??'

'Honey, before you go out tonight, I would like to have a little chat with the prince of darkness.'

'It's making me happy.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

"My daughter is really mad at me because I violated her privacy with an ill-considered question and didn't take into account that she's not a little kid any more..."