Parent To Teenager Pillows

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'We've created a teenager!'

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'Any stunt driving experience other than teaching three teen-agers to drive?'

"You just wait tilll your father gets home!!"

Ringtones Kids Can't Hear.

"Maybe if your creativity had fewer outlets, it would come out of you with more force."

'It's all right with me if you go out, but you'll have to file a flight plan with your father.'

'The fifth rule of parenting. . . cross that bridge when you come to it.'

"Of course, you've always set a good example for me ... that's why you embarrass me so much."

Curious George, Dad

"Uh, officer, actually I wasn't going to report my stolen credit card...."

"It took some figuring, but I think I figured out how to handle a temperamental teenager."

"The kid you've been yelling at to get out of the bathroom for the last ten minutes is at the end of the queue!"

May 2004: Crack of 4:00 AM / May 2020: Crack of 4:00 PM

"Can't you keep your parenting to yourselves?"

"It's so nice out, we decided to let our phones play outside."

'Adolescents act like babies when they aren't treated like adults!'

The swamp of adolescence

"Our little girl is growing up - this very morning she told me she hates me."

The surrendered mom

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

"The new computer system has arrived, and Benny here is going to help us jump the technical hurdles."

'Honey, before you go out tonight, I would like to have a little chat with the prince of darkness.'

"Junior must be in here somewhere."

'It's making me happy.'

'Honey, he's a teenager! They dress as a form of self-expression; he'll grow out of it.'

"Maybe we should send her to finishing school!"

"Too bad teenagers don't have a chrysalis stage."