Teen Brother Gifts

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

'That was quite a birthday party - we played full-contact spin-the-bottle.'

'Only the cap goes backwards...'

'Vocabulary doesn't seem that hard 'til you start trying to use it on girls.'

"This is the time of year we give thanks for all we have."

The youth shows responsibility!

We're leaving, Twig! I'm saying goodbye! Let's go! I'll get you back on Facebook in 3 hours! You hate social media. I do, but

'Sorry, sir -- you have to be under fourteen to rent an Adam Sandler movie.'

Mammoth Tipping was the most Fatal of Primitive Teen Activities.

"I'm goin' over. Hell, we're already rounding second."

"Baldo, I'm glad you understand that hard work will get you somewhere."

"So let me get this straight...the equality movement has basically doubled the number of crazy high school kids who secretly decorate cars in the middle of the night?"

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"I'm going to be honest with you, Noah. I've been virtually seeing someone else."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

At the Museum

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Likes: $2.

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Recess does things to a man."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

Timpani.

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?