Teenage Brother Gifts

'I hate it when I have to talk on my phone.'

"Look at him with his head in the Cloud."

Mobile Phones

Youth with extravagant hairstyle shops for hair gel. Varieties available: Stupid, Absurd and Utterly Ludicrous.

"The whole world doesn't revolve around candy, you know."

"We must work hard to preserve the natural habitat of all Earth's creatures."

"My dad's been on my case...he says I should be preparing for my future career. But what kind of training can I get here for a job that's tough, will make tons of money and highlight my incredible bod?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

At the Museum

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Likes: $2.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

"Remember, kids, it's not winning that matters, it's getting a clean urine sample that's important."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"It's an Eyesaur."

"Recess does things to a man."