Teenage Brother Gifts

'I hate it when I have to talk on my phone.'

"Look at him with his head in the Cloud."

Mobile Phones

Youth with extravagant hairstyle shops for hair gel. Varieties available: Stupid, Absurd and Utterly Ludicrous.

"The whole world doesn't revolve around candy, you know."

"We must work hard to preserve the natural habitat of all Earth's creatures."

"My dad's been on my case...he says I should be preparing for my future career. But what kind of training can I get here for a job that's tough, will make tons of money and highlight my incredible bod?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

At the Museum

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

Likes: $2.

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Check out the old dude.'

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"First snowman?"

"It's called, 'Goth'."