Teenager Brother Gifts

"No, you can't go to the rock concert! It's vital you don't damage your hearing!"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

At the Museum

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

Likes: $2.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 21

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"It's an Eyesaur."

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."