Teenager Brother T-Shirts

"No, you can't go to the rock concert! It's vital you don't damage your hearing!"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

At the Museum

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'My imaginary playmate can whip your imaginary playmate!'

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

Likes: $2.

A Punk Rocker Cocoon.

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Well, young man... just consider yourself grounded!"

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

"Check it out! In nature, females are in charge...they select their mates!"

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"It's called, 'Goth'."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'Check out the old dude.'

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"