Teenage Son Gifts

"If they fit, we can return them."

'It helps him realize I'm being serious.'

'For God's sake, just pick one! I'm nearly seventeen!'

'Where did we go wrong...?'

Dating The Daughter Of A Hockey Goalie

Bee Teenager 'you're not going out dressed like that'

'Oh my Gawd! He's a weed!'

"It' not a turn signal. It's a nasty pimple."

'Why do I have the felling that your parents don't trust me?'

'iMac, iPod, iPhone, uWant, uBuy.'

'May I have my allowance in gold bullion?'

"When I told you to change your socks... I didn't mean from one foot to another!"

The end of innocence

'If it's so good, how come it's not on a T-shirt?'

"Look at him with his head in the Cloud."

'I'm bored with having so much to do.'

'Do you have to be so bloody wonderful? I'd like something to kick against.'

'I told him money wouldn't make him happy and he said, 'Prove it.' That put an end to that dialogue.'

Suddenly Kip hit an area not marked on his Creaky Board Floor Map. The curfew police would both be sympathetic.

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Baldo's How to Be Uncool: No. 39. Go to the mall with someone who doesn't understand fashion.

"Well, before computers there were girls."

"Junior's at the age where the only impression he makes is on the couch."

"Really? They're now giving out non-participation trophies?"

"Yeah, I got into trouble, but I think the principal really enjoyed my rendition of 'I Did It My Way.'"

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

'When I think of all the money we wasted on drivers' training for him.'

"I think she really like me. She held my hand almost as long as she held her phone."

The breakfast of teens.

Biblical Teenager

"Oh no! Buy new clothes so I can go on a date, and then I have to ask dad for a ride to the movies, and I got this pimple last week right on my chin! Why is this happening?!"

Phone Bumper

"Well, if you trust me, why can't you trust that I don't hang with people I don't trust?"

"So what happened between you and Estella?"

"Here comes the cutest girl in school! Quick! Act like you're not my parents!"