Teenage Grandson Gifts

'The games console has saved us a fortune in holidays. We told him we were seeing the pyramids but we were actually in Skegness. He didn't notice.'

'Everytime I go out, my folks remind me that I can be tried as an adult!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Young Frankenstein"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Skipping Horse

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Computer Room.

At the Museum

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

Football Fans

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

A young Don King

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

Director/Action Man toy.

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'