Grandson Gifts

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

'Grandpa, what was the biggest upgrade you saw when you went to school?'

'Thanks, Grandma! How do I password protect it?'

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

'Wow! That's some growth spurt!'

'I understand how I was born; I want to know why.'

"That's not white noise. That's the ocean."

'Yep, wireless.'

'No, Johnny, it's 'an apple a day keeps the doctor away' - not 'an app a day.''

'No, grandma, hashtags are not something you order with eggs.'

'Could you ask me how school was later? Right now I'm off-line.'

Little doctor.

'He's a whiz at computers and video games, but can't seem to grasp potty training.'

"Are you sure you're not assigning too much homework? - I don't want to end up overqualified."

'I wonder if he knows he has his hat on backwards?'

'Boy, what a depressing day. We studied heredity.'

"When I was your age I had to carry a backpack that weighed a ton. You only have to carry a flash drive."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

"When he's running around outside somewhere, at least I know where he is."

Grandma Dean looked at Bobby. Bobby looked at Grandma Dean. Someone wet the bed, but a confession was not in the cards.

'Grandpa, what was manufacturing?'

Boy holding power doesn't want to share.

'Adrian wants to be a vet when he grows up!'

"I can't go to school today, Mom . . . I'm running a low-grade spring fever."

Kid to elderly lady: 'Grandma, you rock.'

'You call that a firecracker?'

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

Child selling cold lemonade in the winter

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

Boy Learning Violin With Ear Muffs.

'I went to summer school and helped a few teachers decide not to teach there next summer.'

'Bed rest and no school for a week. Boy, I like this doctor!'