Grandkids Gifts

'Grandma, when you reach a certain age, do you get recycled or returned for deposit?'

"No, we may not take Grandpa to Antiques Roadshow."

"No bread for Grampa. He's on a glutten-free diet."

"Time to CUDDLE! Granny's been vaccinated!"

"Maybe you should call Grandma for technical support."

"You know, when I was your age, Music Television actually had MUSIC on it!"

'You think you had a rough day? Today I saw grandma wearing a pair of yoga pants!'

"My grandpa suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the time when he worked with Windows 95."

"No, the video isn't in slow motion. That's just granddad and I walking."

Bubbie's parrot

"Show us again that crazy way you fold a newspaper to read on the subway!"

"Oh, granddad! That sweater is SO you!"

"Inside my old watch, there's a little spring, and you twist this knob back and forth to wind the spring. . ."

"Sometimes Gramps can make the whole house shake!"

"It's me birthday today, let's crack open a bottle."

"I think it's time my grandpa upgraded his keyboard."

"Thanks for the keyboard, grandma. But it's not the type I'm in need of."

"Grandpa! You have to let me put those under my pillow!"

"Grandpa said he had a 'cowboy suit' when he was a kid, whatever that was."

"I don't want to go to grandma's, she only has 3G."

"Grandpa, how old were you when you learned how to velcro your sneakers?"

"Oh no, Mother. The dog is curled up asleep."

"My grandma writes me letters like that. I call it the Grandma Font."

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers'."

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

"Some Things Are Better Left Unembroidered"

'Whoa, you look so cool right now.'

"Remember, Timmy. Anything worth doing is worth having somebody do well."

"I found grandpa's old cough!"

"My Great-Grandparents also came from some foreign country and spoke a foreign language. And that's my heritage."

I can't decide whether to send my grandson these homemade brownies overnight certified or two-day ground. Move it, lady! I'm sorry, sir. I don't mean to be a pain. I just want to do right by my darling grandkids. Forgive me, I'm an old lady. There there. Take your time. I'm gonna set a personal record. Your grandkids hate you!

Patty Pat's Diner. Did you get any good presents? Just from Nana. Same here! Grandmothers are the best at Christmas. They know exactly what kids want. Money! Goes with everything!

Grandma doesn't like going over the hill and through the TSA woods to children's home.

'Old fossils prefer sedentary rock.'

'Old people do smell different. They smell like money.'