Granddaughter Gifts

'Grandpa, what was the biggest upgrade you saw when you went to school?'

"Before I read about my summer vacation, I'd like to ask that all pagers, beepers, and cell phones be turned off."

A backup plan might be a good idea, in case 'being a celebrity' doesn't work out...

"'The Girl Who Kicked Summer Vacation's Ass.'"

'Well this is awkward.'

'No, grandma, hashtags are not something you order with eggs.'

"Are you sure you're not assigning too much homework? - I don't want to end up overqualified."

Bassoons.

'And this one is my Ritalin patch.'

Lemonade - $500 A Glass! 'Yes, my prices high, but how else am I supposed to buy a Boulevart M109R? Certainly not on my allowance.'

Little Girl Educating Her Horse.

"For future security questions, the name of your first pet should include a minimum of eight uppercase and lowercase letters, numbers and special characters."

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

Kid to elderly lady: 'Grandma, you rock.'

"Handwrite and mail grandma's thank you note instead of texting? I don't have this kind of time!"

"Money from the Tooth Fairy, eh? Don't forget to declare capital gains!"

Girl to girl: 'A friend is someone you don't have to call dibs with.'

'Gramma, can you help with my homework?'

'That shows how high the water was. The same thing happens in our bathtub.'

Image of school girl with backpack.

"My granddaughter wants me to stop blowing the tops off mountains."

"There I go again, telling stories that make you an accessory after the fact."

A Girl and Her Horse

"I know it's just a game, sweetie, but our entire gender's political survival hinges on the outcome."

Computerized Dollhouse.

...at least I won the bet with my precosious ballet dancing Granddaughter!

I knitted him for you..

Fox and a little girl hiding from the rest of the hunt.

'Mummy, all the ballerinas were on tiptoe. Why don't they just use taller dancers?'

'Division is just like addition except you have to use a different button on the calculator.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

Dog with Anchor Lead

Little Red Riding Hood (Perrault's Fairy Tales).

"One day, I'll be the first woman!"

To the best gran in the world.