Grandmother Gifts

"Son, your mother and I, Grandpa Jack, Grandma Kate, Uncle Danny, Aunt Sue, Grandpa Sy, Grandma Jenny, Cousin Rhonda, Tugger, and Sprinkles are gay."

"Nonsense, Mother. You'll probably outlive us all."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They grow up too fast."

Mother's day

Sundials showing different timnezones.

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anit-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Pets.

"I can quit whenever I want to."

"Nation-wise, we're in a pickle."

'Showing Grandma the edge doesn't solve anything, but it gives us both an exciting day.'

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

'Our names aren't here so let's go for a drink!'

"Your mom's a very special person."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'Thanks, Grandma! How do I password protect it?'

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

The Dream Remote

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

'Tell us again, Grandpa, about the time you almost had Tarzan for lunch.'

"I know what you're going through, dear. I buried my husband last year -? but they found him in time."

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'

Sorry Mable, you know the rules, no mobile devices allowed on quiz nights.

"We're going down to the skate park to annoy the kids, are you in?"

After the last child moved out, the old woman sold the shoe and moved into a flat.

Grandma Telephone

'She's determined to grow old gracefully.'

'Unethical? What do you mean, unethical?'

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

'What's the succession of power if anything happens to Grandma?'

'When I asked if she was critical I didn't mean verbally!'

Movers and shakers.