Grandmother Gifts

"Son, your mother and I, Grandpa Jack, Grandma Kate, Uncle Danny, Aunt Sue, Grandpa Sy, Grandma Jenny, Cousin Rhonda, Tugger, and Sprinkles are gay."

"Nonsense, Mother. You'll probably outlive us all."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They grow up too fast."

Mother's day

'Oh, don't mind Grandpa - he's just having an acid flashback.'

Sundials showing different timnezones.

Born to rock.

'I have to be honest with you. I've been taking anit-aging nutrients for years. I'm 93 years old.'

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"I can quit whenever I want to."

Pets.

"Nation-wise, we're in a pickle."

'Showing Grandma the edge doesn't solve anything, but it gives us both an exciting day.'

'Our names aren't here so let's go for a drink!'

"Your mom's a very special person."

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

Comparison list of old age and youth.

'I don't think of my skin as saggy...I think of it as relaxed-fit!'

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'Thanks, Grandma! How do I password protect it?'

60's GoGo Girl...Past/60's GoGo Girl...Present.

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

The Dream Remote

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

'Tell us again, Grandpa, about the time you almost had Tarzan for lunch.'

'I told you. This is NOT a good age to throw a surprise birthday.'

"I know what you're going through, dear. I buried my husband last year -? but they found him in time."

"Ladies, you know the rule about joyriding."

"We're going down to the skate park to annoy the kids, are you in?"

Grandma Telephone

Sorry Mable, you know the rules, no mobile devices allowed on quiz nights.

'I guess I don't need to ask how your new hip is working out.'