Great-grandmother Gifts

Incontinent Old Lady.

"Those speedbumps are there for a reason, Mrs. Gunderson."

Joke shop toilet has a surprise for old lady.

Silver Surfer.

"Can someone please get that sad reminder of a balloon out of my face?"

Gogglebollox: Our Queen at 90

"What's your earliest memory, Sadie?" "You can not get under my skin, loser." "Maybe I can help you figure it out: were people wearing powdered wigs, or were they wearing togas?" "Did they live in primitive huts, or in trees?" "I'm not listening!" "Were they standing upright, or swimming in a primordial sea?" "You're about to be swimming in primordial soup."

"Your great Abuelita Zoraida is coming for a visit! Do you know what that means?"

Reading Glasses

"I can't find a thing with all these spent shells in here."

Woman on rocking chair listening to the radio

At 103 years old... Joan was herself, a 'fairground attraction'!

"This is your great-grandmother Juana. She used to gossip about every member of the family! It's a long family tradition."

"This is a portrait of my great-grandmother Zulema. Does it look crooked to you?"

100th Birthday

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

City Zoo: Day Care

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

Prize vegetables.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."