Great-grandparent Gifts

"Old people in Hell"

"My great granddad says fruits and vegetables keep him healthy. He calls them 'fossil fuels.'"

'There is a fancy name for your condition...Let's just call it 86 and counting.'

'You know what they say, one hundred and ten is the new one hundred.'

'No, I mean your great-grandfather was literally a big fan of Sally Rand's.'

'It's nice to see you all,but I was just going out to work.'

"This is Norman - eighty-seven and never a mid-life crisis in his life."

"Grandpa and Grandma Morris, Aunt Grace, Great-Grandpa Fritz, his father and grandfather... The fact is, Tommy, you come from a long line of disaffected liberals!"

"Mira...the world's oldest person died at the age of 116."

'The easiest way to stay young is to lie about your age.'

'Living 900 years is all right, but your great-great-great-great-great-great- grandchildren never come to visit.'

Happy 100th Birthday

Happy 90th.

'You seem grumpy ... have you heard about the benefits of bran in the morning?'

'One hundred is the new ninety!'

Lost Youth

At 100 years old, Ceil pretty much spoke her mind...

'When you live 900 years, you find that your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandchildren never come to visit.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

Prize vegetables.

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

"Did I hear the dog in here?"