Great-grandfather Gifts

How Fatherhood Affects Belt Height: Father/Grandfather/Great Grandfather.

"The Balkans. This is where I came in."

"It's true. Your great-grandfather was right there at the beginning of blackened redfish."

'Yeah...I'm 100!'

'When you live 900 years, you find that your great-great-great-great grandchildren never come to visit.'

Despite years of asking people to not wear out his name, eventually ****** was left with nothing but nubs.

'And this is Great Grandpa Bobo. They say he slipped on a banana peel and died, but I think it was just a heart attack.'

'Grandpups? Get with it, Rodney, let's talk great-grandpups!'

'To what do you attribute your longevity?'

'The company was started by your great grandad who used to collect horse droppings.'

'I thank God every day that Great - Grandfather made the most of his peak earning years!'

"Yeah, my great-grandpa was shell-shocked in World War One too..."

"I'm your great grand-thing."

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

City Zoo: Day Care

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

Prize vegetables.

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

The Busy Gardener

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."