Grandpas Gifts

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'Hey Grandpa, I replaced all your flat top surfaces with slow moving reptiles.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

Prize vegetables.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

The Busy Gardener

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"His first out-of-body experience."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

The Zoo.

"They grow up so fast."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."