Granddad Gifts

Convenience food: '...these days you can get your vegetables this way.'

'Thanks, kids. . . it's just what Grandpa wanted. . . the new remastered Rolling Stones retrospective.'

'The best revenge is outliving your enemies. I just wish I could remember who they were!'

"It's just like that thing you've got under your bed, only this one is for old people."

He had proudly displayed it on his mantel for seven years fore he finally read the fine print.

'Wow! No wonder you take naps!'

"Oh, Granddad's home movies are pretty boring, but the crazy machine he uses is awesome!"

"Old soldiers don't die...they just get medal fatigue."

'WOW! No wonder you take naps!'

Happy Eightieth Birthday

'So we can fing out what is wrong with you granddad, I've asked him to bring in a couple of stools!'

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

"Show some respect, stop saying 'Who isn't a pretty boy.'"

"Gran'dad, when you was in the war was it before or after the whole world went mad?"

"Your grandfather was a very brave man indeed."

"I got a haircut, grandpa, and you got an aircut!"

"It's me birthday today, let's crack open a bottle."

"Why do we always start our chats with 'Once upon a time', Grandad?"

"I feel a lot safer around here since your Grandad joined the Neighbourhood Watch!"

An elderly man with a cup of tea

". . . I remember hair. . ."

"The kids decided to put me into a home, but wait. . ."

"These are granddad's old music albums. They put him in some kind of Boomer Bubble."

"You're getting more wrinklier, grandpa. You should drink more water."

"Thank goodness - he's been trying to solve that Rubik's cube thing for over 30 years!"

I bought this at a yard sale for 25 cents. Let's just say it has not been a chick magnet. #1 Granddad. ? ? Bus.

'This is my granddad, the oldest geezer on the ski circuit.'

'Grandpa, it was your generations' goal to make it from rags to riches. It's my generations' goal to at least keep the bailiffs off our rags...'

It says 'the sooner we get Twitter set up the sooner he can stop sending these bloody birds'.

'Grandad, tell me about when you were a yuppie.'

'Grandma said the only thing you like to draw is your pension!'

'F-E-E-D-T-H-E-D-O-G . . . Hey that's spooky! Why would your granddad say that?'

'Grandpa call it easy listening, but it's not.'

'What do you think about that tweet, Grandpa?'

'Granddad was a hippie before he became a baker!'