Granny Gifts

Battleaxe offers free advice.

"When I grow up, I'm going to have a mustache just like you, Grandma."

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Grannies who lunch.

My gran likes the crossword.

'Mrs. Fipperwell watches the world jog by.'

"When you said you'd give me a lift from the shops, I thought you had a car!"

'Your mother's got to carry on working as long as I live.'

"I've been thinking...maybe I should get a tattoo."

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

"Not happy"

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Bond James, Bond."

Prize vegetables.

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

The Busy Gardener

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

I like the Jets...I guess

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."