Grandchild Gifts

Zumma Cum Laude

"The kid's good."

'I found some information in this book for my school paper. How do I click 'print'?'

"They had their names removed using the right to be forgotten."

Child with a junior chemistry set in the complaints department.

"C'mon, time to get up and stare at your devices all day."

"Thus, the Yardbirds begat Cream, Spencer Davis Group begat Traffic, Cream and Traffic begat Blind Faith, and Blind Faith begat Derek and the Dominos and Ginger Baker's Air Force..."

"I'm hoping for a pardon from the Governor."

An Honest Graduation Photograph

'No, Adam, 'awesome' is not an acceptable choice of what you want to be when you grow up.'

'You always bring me the same thing every year, toys games sports equipment. I never get what I really want!' - 'What's that?' - 'Real estate!'

They were sad when they found out their Grandfather had died in an earthquake.

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'I really crammed last night.'

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

'Writing is just like texting except you have to use all of the letters in each word.'

"Mr. Wickers called me 'gifted' in front of the whole class. I'm ruined."

'If this is my final mark, I have no choice but to go to mediation.'

'Thanks, Grandma! How do I password protect it?'

'An encyclopedia? I don't know. Let's look up what it is on Wikipedia.'

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

'This test doesn't understand me.'

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

Homework Done and Homework Eaten Stands.

'Want to hear something scary? This is the third time this week I've gotten off the bus and still remember what I've learned.'

'Homework done only $1.00' 'Homework eaten only $0.50'

'We're under capitalized. As soon as we reach the break even point we'll buy a lemon.'

The Victors

'I know that's what your father calls it, Sweetheart...but a nicer word for it is fertilizer!'

Child puts his finger in a dam to prevent it flooding.

"I see you got an A+++ in science."