Like A Grandson Gifts

Rudy, you're like a grandson to me. Thank you. You speak out of turn, you never listen, you're always whining. You have no focus or consistency, and you're sticky. You're obsessed with toys, you blab too much personal information, and you often make me wonder how soon you'll be going home. Thank you. Did I mention you don't listen.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Young Frankenstein"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

The Games Man: Fishing is his sole form of exercise - but he considers it bad form to move more than his wrist when casting.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Prize vegetables.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Computer Room.

'Boy, the fish are really biting today, aren't they, Fred?'

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

At the Museum

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"A wet winter, but we're making the best of it."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

Football Fans

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"You created a robot to do your homework for you? Apparently, laziness is the mother of invention."