Teenage Nephew Gifts

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

Over Pre Planning: 'I bought you a suit for my funeral.'

The end of innocence

"Look at him with his head in the Cloud."

'Everytime I go out, my folks remind me that I can be tried as an adult!'

'Where's the starter?'

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

The breakfast of teens.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Young Frankenstein"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

Robot Parts $5

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Skipping Horse

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Remote control pirate bully

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

At the Museum

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'