Teenage Nephew T-Shirts

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

Over Pre Planning: 'I bought you a suit for my funeral.'

The end of innocence

"Look at him with his head in the Cloud."

'Everytime I go out, my folks remind me that I can be tried as an adult!'

'Where's the starter?'

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

The breakfast of teens.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Young Frank Lloyd Wright

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"Young Frankenstein"

Robot Parts $5

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Skipping Horse

Remote control pirate bully

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

At the Museum

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Football Fans

Wildlife