Teen Procrastinator Gifts

"No, I'm not doing my homework, but I am watching a YouTube video of someone doing theirs."

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Serious Putty

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

Good luck in your A Levels.

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

I know! How about I take out the trash? Clean the basement? Re-tile the bathroom? Take you to the ballet? Ok. Ok. I'll have "the talk" with Teddy.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

'I would have had these reports done sooner, but someone rolled a ball with a bell inside it into my cubicle.'

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

'16 years old and I already have a company car!'

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

'Well. . . she's exceptionally distracted.'

"Frankly, I could move a lot faster, but the truth is that I lack motivation..."

Why are you texting instead of working?

"He should be there by now. He left for work an hour ago."

Yeahhhh, I've goofed-off at the fax machine, laser printer, copier, but I'm a traditionist. Nothing beats the watercooler!

"Doing chores is very stimulating. I'm always thinking of ways to avoid them."

'I want to speak with you about your work habits.' 'You mean work is habit forming?'

Smug Colleagues Leaving Work.