University Procrastinator Gifts

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

The Forever Stamp

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

Good luck in your A Levels.

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Working from home to-do list.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

The Procrastinatorium.

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

Holiday Shopping for Guys