University Procrastinator Pillows

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"I'm waiting for my imagination to run riot."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

The Forever Stamp

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

Good luck in your A Levels.

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Working from home to-do list.

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"I hate going into a staff meeting without a clear exit strategy."

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"My five least favorite words in the world: By End of the Day Friday!"

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.

The Procrastinatorium.

'You're lucky! Your teacher never gives you any homework.'

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

"Do you mean am I busy busy?"

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."