Procrastination Professor Pillows

"This is my five year anniversary of deciding to just show up and do nothing."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

"It says here that if you read stuff on an electronic device you can miss the big picture."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

Sisyphus Gets a Desk Job.

"I think I see your deadline approaching."

The artist wakes refreshed, creative juices flowing.

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'IN--IGNORE--OUT'

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Working from home to-do list.

"What does procrastination mean?"

Inactive wear store.

'I'm not lazy - just resting before I get tired...'

"The little engine that shoulda coulda woulda."

",,,and what's more Pearson, it hasn�t gone unnoticed that you're not meeting deadlines"

A Visit From The Procrastination Muse

"No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions."

'Well done Hopkins - I hear you cleared your in tray for the first time in twenty years.'

"We've had to introduce measures lately to stop the entomology department from knocking off early on a Friday."