Academic Procrastinator Pillows

"It's Harvard, Professor. They want to know when you're going to grade last June's exams."

'I'd like to blame the economy.'

"I'd like a rebate because I don't intent to be attending any lectures..."

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Sorry, my report is blank. I just stayed home, watched tv and played video games during vacation."

Serious Putty

"File!"

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

'A cyber-terrorist stole my homework. I have a note from the CIA. '

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

Good luck in your A Levels.

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Working from home to-do list.

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Studying and technology

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

Lazy man contemplates the moment of creation.

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

The meeting will start a little late, intelligence is lost in the building somewhere.