Tee-time Jokesters Pillows

Big bird atop 18th hole flag on golf course.

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Raised by Dogs

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

Santa Elevator

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'A boy? Come on, Mom, you can do better than that!'

'Pull over, it's a text-message from the baby, she needs to be changed!'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

"Don't forget...there are no guarantees, no returns, and no compensation!"

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

He wants to know where he came from.

We can identify the genetic root of many problems... however your husbands being a long strak of water isn't one of them!

"She never obeys me. Maybe her voice command is turned off."

A Please Wipe Your Feet mat with words mixed up at the Dyslexic clinic.

"What do you mean you forgot where you buried dad?!"

"Sarge, I think I've found the owner of that driverless sleigh discovered up north!"

"Remember son, there's no problem so big that it can't be run away from."

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

'When you got me, did you have to pay shipping and handling?'

Santa Claus

'Don't play the fool with me, Son.'

"Enjoying a sudden decrease in vision and hearing, are we, Horndog? Well, guess who's enjoying a headache!"