Tea Time Jokester Pillows

Oh no, it's some kind of mass grave

"Sorry, dear... I don't have a pumpkin spiced flat white chai latte. I just have this one..."

'Mary had a little lamb - with mint jelly.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

I think he's joking. "Placebo" can't be a real medical science term. It sounds like a funny name for a clown.

"But, Mom, how can it be a vacation when you're taking me to school?"

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

Dunking biscuits in the bosses tea.

'Hey,mom-have you seen my pet frog?'

"If you must paw something, why don't you hit the snooze button?"

Golf - "Are you new to the game?"

"If we were really best friends, you would be fetching my slippers once in awhile."

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"Oh, Jeez! A pube in my tea! How the heck did that get there?"

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"Will you join me in a cup of coffee?"

Todd realises his ability to levitate tea bag string will never translate into hard cash.

'You're sitting in her chair,vicar!'

'The movie doesn't scare me - the commercials do.'

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

"Wanna trade an Easter ham salad for an Easter egg salad?"

Too-Humble Pie.

"Have you seen my sticks?"

'Sir, we have plenty of fine herbal tea for you to sample...but you're drinking the potourri.'

"I'm not into health foods. I need all the preservatives I can get."

Freezing Penguins

Clown's bath has clown feet.

Skeleton on an out of order escalator.

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

Cat with mice on his bedpost.

"Some times you just got to know when to shut your blow hole."

"Guess what I've got for lunch today...a piece of my wife's delicious rum cake."

'Ooh? Is it time we were going?'

'Are you still having trouble with that nosey neighbour?'