Mealtime Jokester Pillows

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"You owe me five bucks."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

Onion operation.

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

Chef Contest. Ernie, it's not sporting to chant "batter, batter, batter" during a pancake cook-off.

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"Oh, how nice. You're just in time to cut the vegetables,"

'Waiter there is a candlestick in my soup!'

Sometimes the 'Staggers-in-at-4 AM Bird' beats the Early Bird to the worm.

"The trick to this particular dish is not letting your mother mess it up."

"If you must paw something, why don't you hit the snooze button?"

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

"When no one's looking, I'm cramming this entire ball of pasta in my mouth."

'Blackened Fish: Cook until the smoke detector goes off.'

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

"Can I get you your bill sir?"