Mealtime Comedian Pillows

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Bed Seasons

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"While you were out, Mr. Sundberg, the little hand went from the one to the three."

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

"Read it again, Daddy!"

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Mind if I read a little?"

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

Menage a Paws.

"Perhaps you'd be able to sleep better if you pajamas weren't so loud."

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

"I slept funny!"

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

Much to the surprise of all his colleagues, Gavin concluded the lunchtime presentation on company expansion with a rather eccentric song and dance act.

Whale Pattern Balding

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

'...and another thing. You're very selfish.'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

Brrr...for the last time! Keep your cold feet on your side of the bed!