Meal Time Comedian Pillows

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

'Ha ha ha, it's him again! He always makes me laugh.'

'Couldn't he just lie at the foot of the bed like other dogs?'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"Read it again, Daddy!"

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

"I slept funny!"

Menage a Paws.

"Perhaps you'd be able to sleep better if you pajamas weren't so loud."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"You folks like a little something?"

"Oh, don't worry about that—it only goes off when someone taps 'no tip.'"

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

'Instead of a bedtime story, I'm going to read you my company's report for the third quarter.'

'...and another thing. You're very selfish.'

Brrr...for the last time! Keep your cold feet on your side of the bed!

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

Have you said grace? No, we said grace yesterday, this is leftovers!

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'