Mealtime Humor Pillows

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

Beard helper

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'What's the special?'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

Have you said grace? No, we said grace yesterday, this is leftovers!

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

"If so many things taste like chicken, why did God make chickens?"

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

Giant cat sleeps on a building

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

'How long have you had these cornflakes, Edna?'

Do you have any pull with the IRS?

'Is it too early to start driving you out of your mind?'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

'Looks like Mom is making the chicken extra-crispy again.'

"Your story would have been better at 2x speed."

"Management wants a word with you."