Mealtime Humor Gifts

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"Chicken on a bend of spinach and onions?"

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

"Save some for Daddy, Buttercup."

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

'What's your thumb doing on my steak?' 'Want me to drop it again?'

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'It's really nothing - Looks like baby boomer age spots.'

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

Beard helper

'I know you are doing your best, but it will be great when Pat comes home.'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

'What's the special?'

Have you said grace? No, we said grace yesterday, this is leftovers!

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

'Regardez - even le grand Escoffier cries quand il slices les onions.'

Giant cat sleeps on a building

"If so many things taste like chicken, why did God make chickens?"

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

"In lieu of a tip, can one of you take a shift for me?"

"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

Do you have any pull with the IRS?

'How long have you had these cornflakes, Edna?'

'Is it too early to start driving you out of your mind?'

"Your story would have been better at 2x speed."

'Looks like Mom is making the chicken extra-crispy again.'

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

I left the milk out in a sunny spot on the counter today. In this case "warm and fuzzy" is not a good thing.