Meal Time Humorist Gifts

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

'Your French dip, sir.'

'We apologise for the delay to the yum-yum train.'

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

'Yes, it's very nice. But, that isn't what I meant when I asked you to be more creative, in bed.'

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

"I see a huge spider on the wall ... whatever you do, do not move!"

"Read me that story that puts you to sleep so I can play in the internet."

Have you said grace? No, we said grace yesterday, this is leftovers!

'The pizza guy wants to know what floor we're on.'

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

'You're sitting in her chair,vicar!'

Listen, Mom - someone in there must be ticklish!

"Love makes the world go round?! What...for 30 seconds a month?!"

"Just back from lunch . . . I needed to stretch my legs."

"If so many things taste like chicken, why did God make chickens?"

Are you a Questionnaire Addict?

"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

Voice on the webcam to man's dog - You're looking a bit rough this morning, John.