Morning Meal Humorist Gifts

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

'Household water use'

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"It's not he worst meal I've ever eaten, that was your dinner yesterday."

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

"Dang it."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

"Waiter! Waiter! There's no flies in my soup!"

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'Oh yeah? Try to sleep in when your dad is a rooster!'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

'Cock-a-doodle... don't.'

'Typical, next door gets an image of Jesus on their toast, and we get Richard Branson!'

Clocks. Why do you want two alarm clocks? Getting up is bad news and I want a second opinion.

Listen, Mom - someone in there must be ticklish!

"If so many things taste like chicken, why did God make chickens?"

"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'

"I made breakfast last spring."

"Your story would have been better at 2x speed."

What, you've never seen coffee with a worm in it? The Too-Early Bird.

'And this one is for first thing in the morning.'

Voice on the webcam to man's dog - You're looking a bit rough this morning, John.