Morning Routine Humorist Gifts

"Smiley face on bathroom mirror."

Morning Vacuum

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

"Are those my slippers?!"

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

'Household water use'

"Bear with us, will you? -- We're having technical difficulties over here."

'Any chance of getting your alarm clock fixed?

'I want a big breakfast.. there are a lot of contended female cats in the neighborhood this morning.'

Gah! My Timotei is dead. - 'But what have we here? Tresemme with orange, mango, and passionfruit.' - 'Mmmm... passionfruit...' - '*Glug* *Glug* *Glug*' -

'He isn't use to getting up this early.'

"Dang it."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

Bad Hair Day

'This corn's got dandruff.'

'What time is it? The small hand is on the 6 and the cat's paw is on my chin.'

"It's not the going to work I mind . . . it's that they actually expect me to work when I'm there!"

"When did my 'just-woke-up' face become my 'all-day' face?"

Entertainment vs Get Serious Committees

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

'Hey Dad - you're shaving with my transistor radio!'

'Oh yeah? Try to sleep in when your dad is a rooster!'

'One slice of toast and a bottle of ketchup, please.'

Listen, Mom - someone in there must be ticklish!

Clocks. Why do you want two alarm clocks? Getting up is bad news and I want a second opinion.

'Cock-a-doodle... don't.'

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

'Typical, next door gets an image of Jesus on their toast, and we get Richard Branson!'

Voice on the webcam to man's dog - You're looking a bit rough this morning, John.

"I made breakfast last spring."

'I'm the toothpaste genie offering you a free dental plan!'

"Ed woke each morning at dawn to feed his pets, and each morning at dawn, Bruno and Luna frightened Ed. Yaaaaa! Wha? Who's there?!"

Coffee Ladies

'Well, Mr. Grumpy, who got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?'